I Hate It When You're Drunk
by Ruxandra Antonescu
Summary: I wrote this one-shot (a long time ago) in response to a challenge… Something about either Bruce or Diana getting drunk, throwing up and admitting their feelings to each other… or something. I honestly can't remember the exact details or who issued the challenge (Sorry!).


_Hi, guys! Sorry, I've been AWOL lately! _

_Anyway, I was trying to clean and sort my desk a couple of days back (**trying** being the operative word here, LoL) and found a flash drive in between the pages of a really, really thick medical book. When I checked what was inside, I found this! _

_A friend messaged me and said that there has been a rise in SMWW fics and told me to do something about it! LoL… So, this is me doing something about it! **Delta808th**, this one's for you! ;)_

_As always, BMWW and other publicly recognisable stuff are not mine. I'm not making money out of this (oh, boo!), etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseum._

* * *

**I Hate It When You're Drunk**

"I am not doing it."

Even with her acute sense of hearing, Diana barely heard the words that hissed past Bruce's gritted teeth. The pulsating beat of the music was deafening. She then did what anybody whose sanity was intact would never think of doing – she taunted the most feared hunter to ever prowl the concrete jungle that is Gotham.

"Sissy," she sneered, sashaying around him.

The corners of Bruce's eyes started to tighten into the terrifying glare of Batman.

"Careful," Diana slinked forward to whisper in his ear. "The infamous Batglare is very unbecoming on Bruce Wayne, the playboy."

Bruce inhaled the drugging scent that wafted from her hair. He tried to ignore the warmth of her breath against his ear, tried to ignore the feel of her gyrating body against his. Fighting to reclaim the last vestiges of his vaunted self-control, Bruce grabbed Diana's wrist and deftly maneuvered her through the dance floor filled with undulating bodies.

"We're getting out of here." His growling tone hid behind the glazed look of the vapid socialite Bruce Wayne.

"No, we're not," Diana contradicted with a smirk. "Not until you accept my challenge."

"I. Am. Not. Doing. It," Bruce reiterated forcefully.

Diana arched an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Bruce? Afraid you won't be able to outdrink a woman?"

"Whoa!" A guy beside Diana exclaimed. "Wonder Woman just challenged Bruce Wayne to a drinking contest!"

Several 'woots' erupted around the couple and the crowd began chanting. "Body shots! Body shots! Bod-eeee shots!"

Unwilling to risk his playboy reputation, Bruce bared his teeth with a phony smile at the expectant faces around him. The crowd roared in approval when Bruce finally signaled the bartender for tequila, lime and salt.

"I'll get you for this, Diana."

* * *

"Shall you be requiring my assistance, Master Bruce?" Alfred inquired.

"Ahm orayt, Alfred," Bruce slurred, waving a hand heavily through the air. "Av juss ada bit to drink s'all."

The elderly butler's lips twisted in disgust when the fumes of tequila buffeted his nostrils. "Just a tad, I'm sure," Alfred retorted drily.

"It's okay, Alfred. I think I can manage," Diana unsuccessfully held back a giggle. "I'll fly him up to his room and sort him out before I leave," she promised.

"If you insist, Miss Diana," Alfred acquiesced with a slight inclination of his head.

Diana shifted the arm that Bruce had slung over her shoulder and carefully tightened her grip around his waist. _Thank the gods that I have the strength of Hercules, _she thought laughingly as she effortlessly lifted his drunken weight and flew up the stairs, into the master's bedroom. _Bruce would be too heavy otherwise._

"Ah wanna puke," Bruce pointed to the bathroom door.

Despite being gifted with superhuman speed, Diana barely made it in time before Bruce hurled his entire dinner into the toilet bowl.

"The terrifying Batman is finally brought down to his knees," Diana teased. She crossed her arms over her ample chest and leaned her hip on the huge marble sink. "Good thing Wally isn't here. You'll never hear the end of it."

Bruce looked up at her with a scowl, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He grunted as he tried to stand.

"Come here," she beckoned, turning on the tap. She watched in amusement as Bruce _swayed_ toward her. He gripped the edge of the sink with one hand while splashing cold water onto his face with the other.

Diana swallowed a chuckle when she saw that his eyes were tightly shut in an effort to control the overwhelming dizziness that must be assaulting him. She reached for his toothbrush and squirted a generous dollop of toothpaste onto it then handed it to him. When he was done, Diana gently patted his face dry with a soft towel. She then guided him slowly to his bed.

"Here you go."

Bruce plopped down on the king-sized bed clumsily. Diana kneeled, took off his shoes then lifted both his legs and swung them onto the bed. She sat down beside him and lifted his head, arranging the pillows, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. She loosened the buttons of his shirt and took it off him. Several scars crisscrossed his torso and Diana bit her lower lip resisting the urge to trace the scars with her finger… or trail them with kisses. She thought of putting a blanket over him but decided not to since the night was a bit warm.

Bruce muttered something.

"Hmm?" Diana asked. "What was that, Bruce?" She leaned forward trying to hear what he said.

Suddenly, Bruce grabbed her by the waist, holding her against his wide chest. "Stay with me tonight, Diana."

"No, I don't think so, Bruce," Diana gave him a regretful smile. "Not tonight." _Not until you've told me what I really mean to you_, she added silently. Aloud, she said, gently but firmly, "Let me go."

"I'm trying…" Diana felt his arms tighten around her. "But I can't. I don't want to. It's so damned hard to…"

Bracing her palms beside his shoulders, she lifted her head off his chest and stared at him questioningly. "Bruce…?"

"Diana, I…" he moved his hands to cup her face. His heavy-lidded gaze held hers captive. "I love you…" he whispered hoarsely as he drew her face closer to his.

Diana stayed perfectly still as his lips touched hers, bracing her hands against his chest trying to keep him far away as possible. She had hoped to hear him say those words to her for the longest time… But right here, right now, she could not trust herself. And she dared not trust Bruce… not when he was this inebriated.

"Kiss me," he implored.

Diana shook her head. "Not like this, Bruce."

He traced light kisses from the corner of her mouth, along her cheek to her ear. "Kiss me, Princess," he whispered against her ear, nipping at a hypersensitized lobe. "Please?"

Diana flinched, moving her ear away from him but in doing so, she inadvertently moved her mouth closer to his. He claimed her lips with a hunger that astounded Diana.

"Stay with me tonight, Diana," he coaxed. She could almost hear the desperation in his voice. "We'll do nothing else… I promise. I just want to feel you beside me."

Diana moaned softly as her resistance crumbled. _There's no harm in indulging in a few kisses, is there?_ She tried to convince herself as she opened herself fully to Bruce's devouring kiss. She slid her hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck, feeling a shudder course through his body as she did so. He shifted her atop his full length, pressing her close to him, stroking her back and legs. A hand dug into her thick hair, fist closing almost painfully over her tangled ebony locks. It was as if he could not get enough of her, as if he was trying to memorize the feel and taste of her.

Diana surrendered completely to the kiss, lost in an intoxicating fog of passion and yearning. She responded wantonly to his demanding lips and roving hands, luxuriating at the feel of his rigid body against hers. At the same time, a pang twisted her heart when she acutely felt the sense of lonely desperation within him.

And then, without warning, the kiss stopped and Bruce fell asleep, snoring lightly. Diana lifted her chest away from his, looking down at him not knowing what to feel. She was amazed and a bit alarmed at how easily he could ignite such fiery passion within her… Disappointed that the kiss ended prematurely… Happy that Bruce finally admitted his feelings for her, albeit under the influence… and sad… because in the morning, when Bruce wakes up sober, she knew that it would be back to dancing the cha-cha. Two steps forward, two steps back. A part of Diana fervently prayed that he would forget his drunken confession because if he did not, she had a sinking feeling that Bruce would only double his efforts in pushing her out of his life. And yet, a part of her wanted him to remember and let her in.

Diana carefully rolled off him, taking care not to disturb his slumber. Bruce's arm tightened instinctively, keeping her pressed close to his side. "It's okay, Bruce," she told him softly, placing a comforting hand on his chest. "I'm not going anywhere."

As if he heard her, Diana felt the tension in his muscles ebb away. For a while, she stared at him while he slept. He looked content and at peace somehow… almost like a little boy with not a care in the world.

"I don't think I like it when you're drunk, Bruce," she told him in a voice barely above a whisper. "You only need me when you are… You only want me when you are… You only love me when you are." She smiled a little as she impulsively brushed back a lock of hair from his brow. She put her head on his chest and snuggled closer to him. "But I love you anyway."

* * *

Bruce and Diana sat in the kitchen, silently eating their breakfast. Bruce grimaced every time he moved his head, his punishment for allowing himself to get trapped in a drinking match with an Amazon endowed with superhuman metabolism. He wanted to scowl at her but even the thought of doing so made the backs of his eyes throb.

_I wonder if he remembers anything_, Diana mused, chewing her bacon as if it was the most important thing in the world.

Bruce finally looked up, squinting at the bright sunlight filtering through the window behind her.

"Diana," he said gravely. He hesitated, as if looking for the right words. "Did I do anything last night that I should apologize for?"

_Apologize for finally admitting that you love me? You should apologize for __**not**__ saying it while you're sober!_ She thought with an inward sigh. She took a long swig of orange juice, buying time, thinking of how best to answer him. "Umm… no… I – I don't think so."

Bruce's lopsided grin was accompanied with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. "You're certain?"

"Yes," Diana nodded decisively. _Oh well_, she thought. _I __**was**__ half hoping he'd forget… _

"Good…" his grin widened. "Because it was worth getting wasted just to see you on your knees, taking off my shoes, putting me to bed and generally _fawning_ over me in a very _servile_ manner. It's a little too domestic for an Amazon warrior, in my opinion. But I think I can get used to it. Maybe I should teach you this little game I know of… I'll be the Master… and you'll be the servant…" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Diana's jaw dropped in disbelief, her fork clattering onto her plate. "I thought you didn't remember!" She exclaimed, feeling a hot blush creeping up her cheeks.

Bruce's broad shoulders started shaking with mirth. "I remember _every single thing_ that happened last night, Princess. I just wanted to know if you thought I should apologize for it."

"You cocky, insufferable, deceitful… MAN!" She sputtered indignantly.

Bruce reached over the table and squeezed her hand meaningfully. "Yes, I am all that…" he admitted. "But you love me anyway."


End file.
